Transitions & Perfectionism
My need to control everything and to have everything in perfect order is blatantly obvious to anyone who knows me. A stray hair can drive me nuts, something without its “place” drives me into an organizing frenzy, even unperfect handwriting causes me to not want to read what’s written. The worst part is being so critical of others and imposing my perfectionism “tendencies” on others. As we talked today about transitions, I realized there is a lot about my “tendencies” I’ll need to change. The definition of transitions is the internal change that occurs as a result of external changes. Some of those external changes are a new home, a new culture, a new language, new friends, new church, new pace of life and the list goes on. Transition isn’t an event it is a process which may take a year or more! My perfectionism would shout at me “quickly, make sure everything has a place”, “quickly, establish a routine”, “quickly, find the perfect church”, “quickly, find some bosom buddies”, etc. All these can be summarized into “quickly, make your new home as perfect as it can be (without regard to the new culture around you)”.
To do otherwise would be to relinquish control, which I “cannot” do. I can’t, but God certainly can make me 
Through transition, I have to learn to adapt my expectations. I need to learn and grow and take time to see all the positives of life in a new community versus all the things that are wrong with this foreign place. For example, I recently went grocery shopping at the Food Lion in a nearby Podunk town. I spent 10 minutes looking for Risotto, which they didn’t carry (who doesn’t have Risotto!?!?!) Also, things were not located where logically they should be located. My first thought was how backwards they were. I wanted to control my environment and help them to see how wrong they were. Later, I realized that the layout and the food they carry reflect the people that live there. I, being a foreigner, need to say “It’s not wrong, it’s just different” and learn to adjust. I need to not only adjust my thoughts, but my actions. (I had to cook regular rice as if it was risotto and it turned out great!)
I know the transition to Germany (as indeed it already has begun) will not be easy. But I know also that I serve a God who doesn’t change. His promises are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I know that in the midst of an imperfect and changing world, I serve a perfect Saviour who promises to be with me always. He has overcome the world and I share in that through his death, resurrection, and ascension into heaven. Praise God!
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Risotto is an Italian way of cooking rice. Usually you have to use Arborio (type of rice) which is what I couldn’t find. So I used long grain rice. The cooking method involves browning it in olive oil (or butter) first and then cooking it in chicken broth. Very good – try it sometime! I like to mix mine with steamed broccoli.
Just to let you know…I have NEVER cooked or eaten risotto in my life. What is it exactly??? I imagine it is a pasta like substance. =) Just to let you know that unless I am really weird, lots of people don’t have a clue what it is. Also, sounds like you have some idea of how hard the next few months will be. Some things feel like a novelty in a foreign country, until you just want to feel normal again. I’ll pray for you as you “transition”. =)
Great observations. “Is this just different, but not wrong?” is a question all of us should ask more often. There’s no moral consequence if a store doesn’t have Risotto (unless our response to the missing item is sinful). Likewise, I’m sure you’ll both find much in Germany that is very different from our culture, perhaps even better (even more organized!!) than what we’re used to. Making the distinction between what is just different and what is morally suspect is a tight rope you will walk – indeed we all must walk – while we seek to both live to God’s glory and bear testimony to His grace to those around us while living in this world.
Be encouraged today in the Lord!